Lupus UK Poetry Competition 2011, Results & Judge's Report

Lupus is a terrible illness that should to be better known and understood so I was pleased that a poetry competition was to be held to raise awareness about it and raise funds for the charity Lupus UK, and I was honoured to be asked to judge it.

There were a lot of entries to this very worthwhile competition and many were of a very high standard. There were a number of outstanding poems that stayed in the mind long after they had been read. I am pleased to announce the following results;

First Prize: Bulawayo by Anna Meryt

Second Prize: The Bardsey Apple, eifel ynys enlli by Gill McEvoy

Third Prize: Rhythm by Lesley Burt

Highly Commended: Afternoon by Clare Foges

Highly Commended: Werner Herzog’s documentary about the Chauvet cave paintings discovered in 1993 by Terry Jones

It was a pleasure to read so many fine poems, although that always leads to a real problem in picking prize winners, and ultimately this choice becomes very difficult and dependent on very marginal considerations. Most importantly the winning poems here were original and presented theme or narratives which were intriguing, unusual and memorable. The writing in these poems is of a high standard, but ultimately it was the subjects and the way they were approached and the treatment given that attracted attention and won out.

I thought it might be worthwhile saying something of the errors of technique or construction which caused some otherwise good poems to miss out on the final cut.

Here are a few quotes which help drive my own poetic philosophy and which I recommend every poet to consider:

Ezra Pound: “Go in fear of abstraction. The poet presents details, he doesn’t comment.”

Aristotle: “Character is revealed only through action.”

William Carlos Williams: “Ideas only through things.”

Goethe: “I no sooner have an idea than it turns into an image.”

We live in a visual age, and poets should consider the images that they work with. Images are not just visual, they are based in all the senses, so think “senses” when writing. If you have a character in a poem pick up an apple, as well as seeing the apple let the reader feel it and smell it. This will help make the fruit real and draw the reader more into the experience of the poem.

I do not like to see too many adjectives being used in poems as they draw the power from the nouns. So for me one well chosen adjective is better than a poem full of them. Adverbs on the other hand should be avoided as for me they signal a poor choice of verb. If the right verb is chosen then there is usually no need to condition it with an adverb. It is also true that the base form of the verb is far better to use whenever possible as it is more immediate and direct than other forms.

There are a couple of other issues which come up when judging competitions or editing poetry publications. The first is where a rhyming form is used and words or whole lines are included in order to follow the form and make a rhyme, rather than to develop the subject, narrative or poem. Rhyme is important, but no more important than any of the other poetic devices that can drive a poem, and there are hundreds of them. Rhyme can be obvious and intrusive and when this happens, except in very few instances, it becomes the most outstanding aspect of the poem, so we end up with a poem where form is more important than substance. Rhyme is successful when it is hardly noticed and where it helps to add emphasis and structure without taking over the poem. A very difficult balance to achieve and one that is achieved only very rarely.

The second is where words or common phrases are used which are either a cliché or unnecessary. When a poem is completed to the poet’s satisfaction, they should then put it away for a short time, before returning to it for a final edit. At this point every word needs to earn its place in the final draft. Read the poem aloud listen to what it is saying. Challenge every word for its necessity, particularly the small connective words that slip in unnoticed.

I would like to wish all entrants to the competition good luck with their writing and my congratulations to the winner, placed poets, and those commended.


Jim Bennett