Swale Life Poetry Competition, April 2012 An adjudication report

by Mandy Pannett

 

An interesting and competent batch of poems although not many, apart from the ones mentioned below, that experimented or attempted to ‘stretch’ language a great deal. However, they made enjoyable reading and frequently there was the joy of a phrase or image that would spark itself off the page with originality and vividness.

 

Many poems were on the themes of birth and death, childhood, parents, illness and loss in the broadest sense. Several used the natural world as a setting and there were a few with political or religious content. Quite a few poems related to art or to language and there were many strong relationship/love poems. I was interested to see how many wrote pen-portraits of people, real or imaginary. Usually these worked well.

 

There were some poems that I had, regretfully, to leave out of my selection because of lack of space. Among them were Orders, Autumn Leaves, A New Light, Broken Water, Death in the Afternoon.

 

The poems I have chosen as winners or commended all have a certain quality that caught my attention from the start. They almost shouted ‘Look at me, I’m a bit different.’ Although they all demanded to be included, I found the actual placing difficult and changed my mind several times over different days. I feel (hope) I have made the right choices out of many that were outstanding.

 

1^st FOUR INTERLACINGS by Maude Larke (France)

 

This is one of the most original and moving poems on the themes of love and loss that I’ve ever read. This poet has complete mastery of his/her craft. Impossible to isolate any individual lines as deserving special mention (although the last 6 lines are incredible). I am haunted by the poignancy and the beauty of the poem.

 

2^nd SHIPS IN THE DISTANCE by Jane Maker (UK)

 

On first reading I was captured by the vigour and immediacy of this poem and it held its place as a potential prize winner in spite of several strong contenders. I love the vivid colloquialism of the writing but what really hooked me was the sad, repeated verse: ‘And there she goes/raised high on filial shoulders/over the frozen fields and up the salted track/ a bitter wind blowing’

 

3^rd SALTERGATE DIANA by Rachel Green (UK)

 

If anyone wants to know how to write a poetic pen-portrait I’d recommend they read ‘Saltergate Diana’ with its vivid, perfectly crafted details and images. A paraphrase would spoil this highly original, clever piece. This was another poem that caught me from the start.

 

 

HIGHLY COMMENDED:

 

TAKE MY SHOES  by Alex Hales (UK)

 

This is a perfect example of a ‘leaping’ poem that is attractive, accomplished and works perfectly. With the poet we move through images of poetry as an animal or a marsh bird to the startling lines ‘We are/the intestines of love’, continue on through gruesome  elaborations of this image to end with the lyrical lines ‘Take my shoes, wrap them/ in roses. Walk in them a mile,/or two.’ A stunning poem.

 

STILL LIFE by Miguel Saporta (Uganda)

 

I really needed there to be five main prizes. ‘Still Life’ moved in and out of my top three until the last minute and I’m still not sure that it shouldn’t have stayed there. I must confess I always enjoy well written poems that use dialogue and different ‘voices’ and this poem masters that skill to perfection. Hard to select any particular lines – but I do like the image of the woman chewing ‘a handful of sunbeams to snooze the noon away.’

 

 

COMMENDED:

 

EARTHMOVERS by Ally

 

A carefully crafted sonnet that is vigorous and lyrical. Not a word is wasted or out of place here.  A great use of strong verbs, especially.

 

A FISH OUT OF WATER by Moira Ashley

 

This begins ‘He’s swept along’ and I was too, by this poem. The author has a superb command of language. Brilliant.

 

COMPANION PLANTING by Abegail Morley

 

A short poem but just about perfect in my opinion. One of my favourite entries.

 

BODY MAPPING by Abegail Morley

 

I enjoy the originality of this poem and the directness of voice in lines such as ‘This is me in my skin./I can pinpoint/each bit on a drawing,/a diagram, an autopsy slab.’

 

PUB LUNCH AT HIGH TIDE by Claire Pankhurst

 

Another poem that I think is faultless. I am full of admiration for the way the author has handled and conveyed the emotion in this.

 

THE ALLEY by David King

 

A fabulous rhyming poem written in dialect. A joy to read. I wish I could hear the author reciting it.

 

 

THE NEW LOVER by Gabriel Griffin

 

A fine control of language here, with its blend of lyrical and colloquial phrases. An evocative poem.

 

TREASURE by Susan Skinner

 

A beautiful sonnet that flows with apparent lack of effort – always the sign of craft. Great images too, such as this : ‘A green power/that grants the fallen leaf a bud, a moon/in shining ermine to this cold December/night,’

 

WOMAN AT THE WATERFALL by Rose Bray

 

A mysterious, atmospheric poem with undertones of myth. I particularly like ‘the frosted light’ with its ‘first chittering breath’ and the woman’s eyes with ‘pupils dark as the deepest fjord’.

 

MORE THAN ORANGE by Roger Elkin

 

A strong, original poem. I chose it because it experiments and takes risks with language and layout.

  

Mandy Pannett.  May 2012

 

 

 

 

Results and Judge’s Report, Swale Life Poetry Competition (January 2012)

 

A varied and interesting selection as always, with many poems on the themes of relationships, the natural world, journeys and quests of all kinds.

 

I had no problem selecting the winning three poems or the Highly Commended (although both the latter were nudging hard to be included as main prize winners.) My problems were with several of the Commended poems, which could have been Highly Commended, and with a cluster of a dozen poems that, had space permitted, could easily have been chosen for the anthology. Among them are ‘Thistles’  ‘The Horse’  ‘Skull as Object’ and ‘Away in August’.

 

This was a most enjoyable task and I’m glad to have had the pleasure of reading so many fine poems.

                                   

 

1^st        MEN, THIS MORRIS DANCE – GRAHAM BURCHELL

This poem – so original – stood (or danced) out for me at the first reading. I was caught by the vigour of its opening line which continues from the title: ‘Men, this Morris Dance/ is dedicated to our butterflies – sorry.’  Who could resist that ‘sorry’?  I couldn’t. A clever, perfectly crafted, attractive poem that is deservedly the winner.

 

2^nd        NIGHT BATTLES – THRYN H.

A sure hand was at work on this poem. I enjoyed  the surrealism of its images, the technical skill but most of all the musicality of its language in lines such as these: ‘if I turned the whole lot over would the feathers/sprout from shoulders/where endless hours used to fit?/ Could I sweep the dusk from eyelids/when I stretch them, glorious, free ...’A hypnotic, compelling poem.

 

3^rd        MOUSETRAP – WF LANTRY

Ostensibly a poem about catching a mouse but there is so much more. It’s a poem about suffering, I think, suffering and existence and a reaching after peace in a precarious world. A subtle poem, moving from darkness to dawn, from noon to midnight, written with lyricism and a perfection of language. Take these lines for example: ‘I will need/benevolent new traps. At noon I drive /to look for something it will, caught, survive,/without new suffering laid on my head.’

 

HIGHLY COMMENDED:

 

WASPS – TED WALTER

A striking poem that considers the implications of destroying a wasps’ nest. I was immediately pulled in by the repeated phrase ‘And if I had?’ A poignant, thoughtful poem beautifully written.

 

CUERNCA, SPAIN – VALENTINE WILLIAMS

A simple, lyrical ‘relationship’ poem that builds on the repeated line ‘There was that night’ and uses the image of an owl in moonlight to evoke shadows, a void, loss. Lovely writing here.

                       

COMMENDED:          

 

MURCHISON – VALENTINE WILLIAMS

A lyrical journey/relationship poem that attracted me with its repetition of the place name ‘Murchison’ and the many small details that build up the picture such as ‘Cohen on the player, mournful,/and sandflies biting both our sandalled feet/along the river down to Murchison.’

 

CLAY-LADY – MARGARET WILMOT

An intriguing, visual poem that uses a device I particularly enjoy – the echoing and interweaving of words and images throughout the different sections.

 

LANDRANGER 205 – WILL DAUNT

Here the poet uses the ‘serrated trails’ and ‘contour –scars’ of a map to convey the image of a ‘last stamp-sized scrap of land’ where ‘half the country’s lost.’ Brilliantly crafted.

 

ALMOST HIBERNATING – VALERIE BRIDGE

I chose this poem for the beauty of its language – hypnotic, echoing lines such as ‘The bear must sleep. Must sleep./Back. Sleep. Softly blueberrying.’ An enchanting poem.

 

SOMEWHERE THERE USED TO BE LOVE – CLAIRE PANKHURST

An apparently straightforward narrative of an uninvited guest who realises she/he has made a mistake by turning up, counterpointed by the ‘broken’ phrase ‘and your hand curls round glass breaking.’  A clever, well handled technique that perfectly conveys the emotion behind the events and the sadness of ‘breaking.’

 

 

Mandy Pannett. 

February 2012